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dancing_salome [userpic]

A vee rant

October 23rd, 2010 (04:03 pm)

I belong to a Swedish BDSM forum and as people there are very different- just because you have an overlapping sexuality doesn’t mean you have the same personality. And though a lot of people are really nice and open-minded, there are some with views that flabbergast me. Today to a point that I need to rant a little. Here you go: Recently a man made a claim in a forum thread that a large number of submissive women are overweight. The reason for that is because they aren’t really submissive, but takes that role in order to get a man, as overweight female have troubles getting that.

How many wrongs can be found in that statement?

Let’s see… First we have the assumption that the ratios of overweight women are larger in this group than in other groups in society. I have absolutely no idea if that is true. I haven’t noticed it myself. I can say that if you go to a BDSM club there is a bigger span in ages and body types than you find in an average club. I have noticed the same in burlesque clubs too. I think that it’s not a bigger ratio, but rather a bigger acceptance for diversity. So people, who may not be comfortable going to a trendy place, do feel comfortable and welcomed at an alternative club.

Second; the notion that female sexuality depends on male sexuality. This so SO common and it makes me see red. So many med really thinks that women don’t have a sex drive of their own, but adapt to what the man wants. Perhaps it’s not more common in the BDSM community, but it sure is more common to find men who actually voice that belief. They come in all colours too. I’ve been contacted numerous men who are submissive themselves who has tried to manipulate, or asked outright, to get me to dominate them. When I have turned that around they have gotten all huffy and hurt because I don’t take their sexuality seriously. But it’s evidently all right to disrespect mine. Dominant men usually just tells me what I really want. Which curiously always is what they want, not what truly triggers me.

Third: That a weight considered more than the normal is unattractive. Well, it certainly looks that way in media, but in reality… Not so much. I have a padded figure all my life, sometimes weighing too much and sometimes not- but I always have breast and hips. I have never had any problems getting dates and can certainly not see that different weight shave had any impact on that. The truth is, I think, that even though a particular type can be more attractive to you than other, the type itself varies. Some men like slim, other curvy and so on. Same for women. And I think most of us have looks that you don’t find attractive at all. I know that there are some types of looks that I have never, ever found sexually attractive. I’m not going to tell you, because they are looks that are perfectly normal and I’m certain others can find them attractive. It’s just that for me, they aren’t. So I can get that someone isn’t attracted to a larger person, but I think you are vastly wrong if you assume that everyone must agree with you.

There’s been a lot of reaction on this and paired with the fact that the man also have said that most submissive women are mentally unbalanced (and preferable also 20 years younger than he is) and he is now banned from the forum.

dancing_salome [userpic]

My fanfic

July 21st, 2009 (03:02 am)

I'm having a sleepness night, so I'm re-reading my fics. A rather strange experience, as I find that I've written stuff that I have forgotten that I wrote. And some where I have forgotten why I ever wrote them. But there is also fics that makes me feel "Wow, I actually wrote this- this is good!"

I guess there are several reasons to why I don't write anymore. That my life have changed to incorporate things that used to be just dreams, is one part. Perhaps also that I haven't felt drawn to a book or movie in that was for a long time.

I still have stories inside me, but the overwhelming compulsion to get it down is gone. As there are stories I'd like to finish, I'm trying to get in the mood of writing again.

As I think most of you are on my f-list becasue of my fics, can I ask you which one of mine you liked best? And why?

EDIT: I have added a list of my fics. First time I counted them. 48! I have written 48 fics! Though several very short. Still, that's a lot. No links, but they are all on scripsi and everything's there are tagged, so I think they are pretty easy to find.

Read more...Collapse )

dancing_salome [userpic]

Friending policy

February 28th, 2007 (07:43 pm)

I notice that I have been friended by a few people. Please, though I'm very happy to friend people, I do so only if I get a comment on why I've been friended. So feel free to comment on this post. :-)

dancing_salome [userpic]

"Peeking Into His Navel"

October 27th, 2006 (06:58 pm)

Fanart for Not Totally Useless Rated PG.

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dancing_salome [userpic]


September 22nd, 2006 (09:24 pm)

I just found this community:


An excellent idea, so go and nominate.

And then go and look at this very NC-17 rated Hook/Wendy fanart:


Heap praise.

dancing_salome [userpic]

Re-imposing my love for M. R. James

July 5th, 2006 (11:03 pm)

I've been scaring myself with James tonight, so I think I should spread the love. :-) Read An Episode of Cathedral History, please. Tell me what you think of it.


dancing_salome [userpic]

Gacked from alice_in_oranje

March 23rd, 2006 (10:34 pm)

Cloud of interests for dancing_salomedancing_salome

alice in wonderland art deco art nouveau bdsm belle epoque bondage bustles captain hook colonel tavington corsetry corsets darkfic david bowie decadence depeche mode digital photography dracula erotica fan fiction fanfiction fetish fetishism fin de siecle flappers gothic ghost stories harem het historical fiction hook/wendy james hook jason isaacs johnny depp klimt lace lewis carroll lucius malfoy m. r. james mythology neil gaiman non-con oscar wilde photography pirate movies romance romantic art rufus sewell sandman self portraits self-portraits sensualism sex sexy arrogant men shakespeare sleepy hollow stiletto heels stockings the historian tight-lacing tim curry tori amos tove jansson vampires victorian victoriana villains vintage vintage erotica vintage photographs writing

Get yours!

Created by lazy_nekolazy_neko

I cab only conclude that big tags are such that a lot of isers share with me. So, typically, those quite important are very small. *pouts*

dancing_salome [userpic]

Gacking, gacking

February 14th, 2006 (06:17 pm)

So, I'm doing the Johari-thing, just like everyone else- Come on- tell me what you think about me!


dancing_salome [userpic]

Gacked from alice_in_oranje

January 22nd, 2006 (10:35 pm)

You're a vinyl/fetish corset. Grrrrowl.

What corset are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

And how many of you are surprised over that result?

dancing_salome [userpic]


October 24th, 2005 (09:19 pm)

It's been a while since I made a proper entry, so I thought I should discuss something that interested me vastly in my teens, and now too, if not as much.

VampiresCollapse )

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